outer dark

Black Death

2009-04-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

Mobile Test

2009-04-28T22:59:00.001-07:00

mobile

First Bloom

2009-04-22T11:46:00.000-07:00

unfound

2009-04-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

Lake Urine

2009-04-16T11:49:00.000-07:00

Ziari

2009-04-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Ziari was a good cat, in the sadly brief period that I knew her. Never
one to lower herself to the antics and mayhem of her two roommates,
she held herself aloof and commanding, a champagne colored grand dame
among cats. Her imperial bearing sent a clear message that she barely
tolerated your existence, and that you should feel honored to even be
in the same space as her.

She succumbed to some sort of kitty diabetes-related complication, and
her last few days on this plane could not have been pleasant. When she
lost the ability to eat and withered down to the skin and bones, I
went and visited her on the living room chair and asked how she was
holding up.

She wearily raised her pitiless eyes at me and uttered a single 'meh.'
Despite her body betraying her and malfunctioning she made it very
clear that it didn't bother her in the slightest and that she would be
defiant until the end.

It is a moment I shall take as a show of dignity in the face of the
greatest adversity.

mobile

some sort of midieval robot

2009-04-12T15:08:00.000-07:00

2009-04-12T13:46:00.001-07:00

Perhaps the solution to all of my problems would be to not be as
ashamed of forcing others to experience my profound melancholy.

mobile

2009-04-11T00:07:00.001-07:00

bluskyurbandekay

2009-04-07T13:31:00.000-07:00

Barack Hussein Tuxedo

2009-04-04T00:04:00.000-07:00

taken by Jess

days of whine and roses

2009-04-01T10:25:00.000-07:00

soon to be picturesque ruins

2009-03-26T16:15:00.001-07:00

Clarification:

when I try to get you to read a book that I describe as a 'quick
read', I'm not suggesting that you are a borderline simpleton. It's
just that none of my friends have time to read because of the vast
volume of other media they dauntingly have to get through.

mobile

and don't forget the joker

2009-03-25T22:56:00.001-07:00

Chi Guy

2009-03-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Sithmouse

2009-03-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

hellbound

2009-03-20T13:16:00.001-07:00

One of my coworkers had a miscarriage and while passing around the condolences card one of my coworkers asked 'what kind of a card do you get for something like that?' and I said 'I don't know, Garfield being sad about all the lasagna being gone?

I should work this into an FML entry.

Hostage Situation

2009-03-17T16:55:00.001-07:00

Señor Tuxedo

2009-03-12T20:07:00.001-07:00

As above, so below

2009-03-08T00:46:00.001-08:00

ANNNNUUUUUUBIIIIIIISSSSSS!!!!!!!

2009-03-06T13:59:00.001-08:00

Onward!

2009-03-05T14:07:00.001-08:00

Well okay

2009-02-21T23:30:00.000-08:00

Everything She Touched Turned Xanaxian

2009-02-20T06:45:00.001-08:00

The new Prefuse 73 is so dull that I forgot what I was listening to on
two seperate occasions while listening to it on the train this morning.

mobile

slush train

2009-02-18T16:16:00.000-08:00

Que custodiet ipso schlong?

2009-02-10T08:37:00.001-08:00

I'm wondering if all of the people I see reading Watchmen on the train get as self conscious as I do at all the pages of Dr. Manhattan's schlong? Or, as I noticed last night, of the paunchy, nude Dan Dreiberg wandering around his Owl-cave looking at all of his gear?

I'd hate to be thought of as some sort of hobo who likes to sit around getting jollies at cartoon naked people in public, even if it is the source of a future blockbuster movie.

I can only assume that anyone who wants to kill themselves would prefer I not talk them out of it, let alone march to prevent it.

2009-02-06T15:52:00.000-08:00

2009-02-01T16:28:00.000-08:00

2009-01-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

a lifetime of fucking things up fixed

Myopic Books Kitteh!

2009-01-10T22:54:00.000-08:00

Well, yeah.

2009-01-09T15:48:00.000-08:00

The Unborn..

2009-01-08T21:44:00.001-08:00

was hilariously shitty and PG-13. my greatest regret was that at the
end it hinted at a much better movie/TV series in which Gary Oldman
and Idris Elba are a rabbi and a priest who go around exorcising stuff.

It was a weirdly 'red state' horror movie where all unborn life is
sacred and they take various forms of Christian mysticism completely
at face value without any skepticism at all.

I would not recommend seeing this for any amount of money above zero,
and that's only if you honestly can't think of a better way to spend
100 minutes.

O, if you can really enjoy the concept of seeing hot chicks covered in
feces water and cockroaches from an exploding public restroom.

mobile

Qlippoth pt 2

2008-12-30T16:13:00.000-08:00

I ended it (decisively, rather than half-assedly) with her near the
end of my workday in the perfectly tasteful manner of changing my
Facebook status to Single, maybe three weeks after I initially tried
to do it and fell victim to my old arch nemeses: crying and
undermining my logic with emotion.

If I didn't genuinely like her as a person it would have been much
easier. The last time I had to seriously do this I also massively
underestimated the response as she herself wasn't much of a feeler or
communicator but she got over it fairly quickly and I guess is seeing
someone she really likes.

I can only wish this for anyone that I feel the need to disappoint on
such a level.

Despite my overwhelming and all consuming arrogance, I've never really
thought much of myself as a human being. I never understand why anyone
could grow so attached to someone who seems so capable of unfeeling,
dismissive cruelty as I am.

When I initially tried to do this a few weeks ago her idiotic best
friend let himself into her place and demanded a ride to work, so in
the midst of her tears I compromised (painfully) and told her that I
just needed some time to myself to think things through. At the time I
may have believed it, because she really is a wonderful, generous, and
caring woman who could make any regular guy who isn't all fucked up
very happy.

I'm not that guy.

All I can hope that she gets out of this, beyond anything, is the
knowledge that fundamentally broken people are not fixer uppers.

Raisa, I know things are all fucked up for you right now and i'm sorry
that I had to be the cause of that. I had hoped that we could both be
grown up enough to coexist without the expectations and physical
commitments of a 'relationship' but I can see that despite having some
really great times with you recently without ending up in your bed at
the end of the night.

I can only hope that your wonderful and supportive friends can carry
you through this and see that yes, I am an emotionally abusive asshole
rake and that you deserve far better.

I imagine I will have more to say about this later.

mobile

Is there something I'm not giving you?

2008-12-27T14:34:00.001-08:00

2008-12-22T14:41:00.001-08:00

I think Machine Gun by Portishead is my song of the year.

Move along, citizen.

2008-12-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

Fête

2008-12-19T14:00:00.000-08:00

I'll never understand the correct behavior at work parties. These
people aren't really my friends, but there is lots of free alcohol
involved. Maybe it's because they're actually closer to a weird,
estranged extended family?

I never had the alcoholic relative experience growing up like everyone
I date, so I really have no idea.

mobile

old haunts

2008-12-14T16:20:00.000-08:00

The Cad

2008-12-07T09:25:00.000-08:00

I wonder how long it will take her to decide that I'm just kind of an
asshole and move on

mobile

2008-12-06T14:41:00.000-08:00

No good deed goes unpunished.

mobile

Beer Friday!

2008-12-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

Leper Messiah

2008-11-29T13:00:00.001-08:00

2008-11-23T16:32:00.000-08:00

nuclear winter

2008-11-12T14:10:00.000-08:00

I love this shit

2008-11-09T18:21:00.000-08:00

Obama's Letter Was Answer To A Little Boy's Request -- Courant.com

2008-10-31T10:59:00.000-07:00

This is such a cute story.

http://www.courant.com/news/local/hc-flatobama1030.artoct30,0,7881722.story

mobile

I think I decided why I found this story to be so charming. You very rarely hear a politician saying anything that isn't totally literal, even when joking or talking to kids. It's like when he told everyone about his father Jor-El and his home planet of Krypton. Politicians underestimate their constituency to the point of where they feel endangered if what people hear isn't absolutely what they get.

Snarf

2008-10-29T23:57:00.001-07:00

Pumpkinsaurus

2008-10-26T20:44:00.000-07:00

charyou tree

2008-10-26T14:37:00.001-07:00

Elsa

2008-10-20T20:27:00.000-07:00

SAUSAGES

2008-10-16T10:27:00.001-07:00

I would gladly see this expanded into a ninety minute movie.

this sucks

2008-10-15T09:36:00.000-07:00

starchildren

2008-10-11T01:37:00.001-07:00

Seriously?

2008-10-10T12:36:00.001-07:00

This is going to be one shit Halloween.

Nailing Your Wife

2008-10-09T15:52:00.001-07:00

Nailing Your Wife

Arête

2008-10-03T16:07:00.001-07:00

A fairly dear person to me asked me today the simple question of 'what
I like', interpretation wide open. I gave some evasively vague answers
that were simultaneously true but unhelpful, but later on it occurred
to me that the only things in life that I find fulfilling are:

Money
Sex
Food and
Video games.

I can't think of much else. Nature, maybe.

I don't know.

mobile

2008-10-03T02:21:00.000-07:00

The Long Way Back

2008-10-03T02:18:00.001-07:00

I meant to crash at Kevin's tonight given that my research into
transit back to Humboldt Park would be nigh-impossible without a cab,
but that proved impossible due to his loud TV, incorrigible piece of
shit IKEA futon, and pervasive chewing noises at 4 am, so I decided to
bail.

I'm now sitting fairly near Foster Beach, watching the angry lake roll
in from the darkness, and I find myself returning to the day that I
lost my job, with the metaphor of the lake being my life's endless
cycle of chaos, of the building up and the destruction of various
facets (be they life, love, or finance), and I don't know if I feel
that way anymore given that I've taken steps to remove myself from
that and into a different life altogether with the help of several new
friends.

I'm actually pretty happy with what I have now despite it being fairly
fucked compared to everyone else.

I'd love to write more but the rain now falls in earnest and I must
seek shelter.

mobile

OMG SO CUTE

2008-10-01T17:08:00.001-07:00

^____^

do not

2008-09-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

Mr. Bear

2008-09-26T22:02:00.001-07:00

Humboldt Park Fieldhouse

2008-09-26T16:59:00.001-07:00

A Message from Batman

2008-09-23T14:45:00.000-07:00

2008-09-21T18:14:00.001-07:00

I wish there was some sort of filter in Reader that would censor/
delete any entries pertaining to what that blogger did in Warcraft
today, and the obscene amount of time they spent doing it.

mobile

photo meme - how I look at this instant sans editing or makeup or hair care products

2008-09-19T21:25:00.000-07:00

not amused

2008-09-15T10:47:00.001-07:00

rockin the shell station

2008-09-14T17:09:00.000-07:00

Threadless Kids

2008-09-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

found in grass outside of Raisa's

2008-09-14T16:15:00.000-07:00

thanks to Sean Phillips

2008-09-10T22:56:00.001-07:00

2008-09-08T16:30:00.000-07:00

It's cold and wet outside but the new TV on the Radio is keeping me
warm and dry.

God damn, what an album.

mobile

acupuncture

2008-09-04T18:07:00.001-07:00

slip slide melting

2008-09-03T23:38:00.001-07:00

The soundtrack to 1994's The Crow is probably the source of all of my musical taste these days, whether it be the bands featured on it or other bands in the same genre as those bands that were featured on it.

i was thinking about this tonight and I remembered that when I was a lad, I was always scared to mention the song on there by For Love Not Lisa because it featured the name of the person I was primarily talking to about music at the time, the one that I would have to synchronize over our chat rooms to hear a CD at the same time, which meant me hogging the CD-ROM of the 'other' computer to use its CD-ROM so I could hear it in the office instead of the living room, back before we all just had a bunch of songs listed down our iTunes and we could grab anything with two clicks.

Here's to you, darling. I hope we never end.

Evanston - Noyes Station

2008-09-03T13:57:00.000-07:00

doooooom

2008-08-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

STENCIL

2008-08-29T22:27:00.001-07:00

burgin' blog

2008-08-28T12:47:00.000-07:00

The burger at Clarke's Diner is absolutely terrible. A disgrace among
burgers. I should have gone to Patio Beef, which would give me twice
the burgin' quality for half the price.

mobile

waiting for the man

2008-08-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

the hawk is howling

2008-08-25T23:03:00.000-07:00

I see a burning crescent sliver of something off in the distance on
the lake. I don't think it's the moon, it's only 1 am. I'll try to get
a picture but I doubt it will come out.

It's cold, windy, and the lake is pissed off.

mobile

beach night

2008-08-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

arf

2008-08-25T20:47:00.001-07:00

beach day

2008-08-25T13:01:00.000-07:00

Sir Benedict Omelette

2008-08-24T12:20:00.000-07:00

kerosene

2008-08-21T18:21:00.001-07:00

I'm at this hippie drum circle thing in Broadripple Park and it's
starting to occur to me that I would get a lot more ass if I could
figure out how to unselfconciously enjoy myself.

mobile

a new low

2008-08-21T12:19:00.003-07:00

I have achieved the impossible dream:

Last night I threw up mid-coitus. Go me.

do not want

2008-08-17T13:11:00.000-07:00

much needed levity for all

2008-08-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

2008-08-16T14:56:00.000-07:00

I just heard Bring It On by Nick Cave in a Chipotle.

mobile

mogwai - batcat

2008-08-11T16:58:00.001-07:00

Batcat

2008-08-10T14:12:00.001-07:00

Bernie Mac and now Isaac Hayes?

Jesus Christ shit sucks these days.

mobile

2008-08-10T10:54:00.001-07:00

Ever wronged someone and felt genuinely sorry about it, but then when you apologize and try to make it up to the person they just blow it back in your face? At that point everything shifts and it's the other person who sucks, not you.

So yeah, fuck those people.

My All-time Favorite Gay

2008-08-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

Surreal Random Product of the Day

2008-08-07T10:40:00.000-07:00

2008-08-06T13:58:00.001-07:00

I just got a letter from Illinois Unemployment telling me that my
benefits are suspended until I have proof that I have made a 'specific
amount of wages.' Their words.

Isn't the point of unemployment to help me along until I find another
job?This had better be some sort of computer error or there will be
hell to pay, as much as any broke and powerless prole can give it to
them. I'll pay them a visit tomorrow to see if they can explain this
idiocy to me. I was fired a fucking month ago and I haven't seen penny
one from those idiots.

This is just not my (or anyone's, really) summer.

mobile

the scourge of god

2008-08-05T21:41:00.001-07:00

Overcome by restless loneliness, I emerged from my humid cave into the
cool night air in search of food and entertainment. This is dumb. I
have both at home.

I was a bit bummed out by the evenings' original plans falling
through, but that is not nearly as distressing to me as her reluctance
to plan for the future or to give me a raincheck. Really, for all that
women complain about me being an unreadable blank, keeping me on the
hook is laughably simple. Don't give me much besides something to look
forward to and I make for a fine and obedient servant. It's the
opposite of smothering without it being on the opposite end of the
badness spectrum. I'm very easy to psych out because I let it happen.

Please don't become another Hannah, of me falling for the older woman
who actually seems to understand me, and then her deciding very early
on that dating a younger guy with no prospects is a bad idea. All of
the evidence is pointing to that and I should really just circle the
wagons and get out the situation before I turn into a human shipwreck
for another few months.

I watched Shortbus for the first time tonight, as by previous
downloads of it just had me scanning through it for the hardcore sex
and not really focusing on the plot, which turned out to be quite
substantial and important.

Despite having eaten Morseland's 'world's best beef and cheddar' and
drank a few beers I remain in the same sour mood as before. Must be
the bluegrass. Bluegrass fucking sucks.

mobile

2008-08-05T20:00:00.001-07:00

At times like this I can't differentiate between all consuming despair
and being really hungry.

mobile

bike

2008-08-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

bikeride 1

2008-08-01T14:29:00.000-07:00

Gamekeeping

2008-07-31T23:06:00.001-07:00

I'm at Gamekeepers at the corner of Armitage and Lincoln drinking
expensive Fat Tire that Kevin's friend probably would not have gotten
for us were he not already shitfaced.

Everyone is playing Quarters over there even though all the people in
the group we came to meet are already post college. Once again I
wonder just what I missed by choosing/not having the opportunity to go
off to school to live in the dorms for all if the drugs, booze, and
anime loving borderline psychotic poontang that I could get. I felt
this way whenever my ex-roommate would set up the Tip-a-cup table at
our old house, like that I had missed out on some essential
opportunity to find out why people found such stupid fucking drinking
games to be so appealing.

I gave Sarah all of her shit back tonight and the person that emerged
from her apartment to greet me sounded utterly broken and defeated,
and now I feel like shit. Instead of fleeing a battle of self
preservation, I now just feel like an asshole who abandoned her when
she REALLY needed my help. I do miss her, even though the relationship
had gotten to the point if where I was overjoyed that we were watching
an extremely long form TV show like Lost to get through as it lets me
temporarily forget the fact that I feel like I have nothing to say to
her and I feel terrible about that.

I requested Dragonforce on the jukebox and I can't wait until it cones
up so these frat douchebags can start complaining.

mobile

wash me away

2008-07-31T18:42:00.000-07:00